


Little Bit of Pain

by robinasnyder



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 10:31:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinasnyder/pseuds/robinasnyder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel's too tired to care who holds him anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Bit of Pain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scher](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scher/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Be Good Gabriel](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/25241) by drawsshits. 



Gabriel didn’t have any illusions about his position and his power. He’d really failed. He’d failed everyone, over and over again. He’d just run when Dean called him out for being afraid to face his family. But then who was Dean? The hypocrite. He was probably still fighting with his last breath. Maybe. For all Gabriel knew it had already passed and hundred years and Dean was already dead. Time meant little to an immortal and imprisonment made it all run together anyway. 

Lucifer had walked Sam and Dean away from the pagans and just told Sam that he’d see him in Detroit. Gabriel didn’t see this, of course. Sam told it him. 

Lucifer caught Gabriel during his purges of the pagans. He’d been wearing Sam at that point, and as such Gabriel had hesitated. Lucifer didn’t kill Gabriel though, he just kept him. It wasn’t hard to figure out why. Sam was very much awake inside Lucifer’s mind. Lucifer probably would have kept Nick if he’d lived past when Lucifer left his body. He’d been the parasite that killed Nick but also kept him alive. 

Lucifer was lonely. Gabriel knew it, anyone who knew Lucifer knew it. He kept Gabriel because Gabriel could be kept. But Lucifer wasn’t the light bringer anymore. He’d been twisted and hollowed out by his own hate. Any love Lucifer felt only extended so far as his own pain. 

Not that it made Gabriel’s pain any easier to bear. 

He couldn’t ignore the phantom pain of loss of one of his wings, or the odd combination of pleasure and the pain of loss when Lucifer used Sam’s fingers to tread through the feathers left on the stump of what has once been something beautiful. He couldn’t ignore the tight discomfort of the cursed iron that locked tight around Gabriel’s good wing, restricting movement and any leftover ability to fly. Without the brace Gabriel might have been able to get at least a state over, though Lucifer would still be able to find him so it hardly mattered. 

The brace only came off when Lucifer wanted to preen his feathers and play act at being brothers. Gabriel always hurt now, and Lucifer’s broken mockery of who he’d once been just magnified it all. Because Gabriel could believe in Lucifer, and he could forgive Lucifer. Lucifer had been broken by circumstance and certain lack of flexibility. Any part of the Lucifer Gabriel had loved seemed to ache when he saw Gabriel’s pain. But Lucifer was different. Mostly he was too much the same: stubborn, theatrical, and constantly looking for affirmation and love.

“Kiss me, Gabriel,” Lucifer said. 

Gabriel didn’t want to, but he turned his head up. He closed his eyes and kissed Lucifer’s cheek. Lucifer nuzzled his nose against Gabriel’s forehead and placed a kiss on Gabriel’s eyebrow. Gabriel’s lips twitched just a bit. He expected that Sam told Lucifer to do it.

“Shut up, Gabriel,” Lucifer said. 

Gabriel had a hard time shutting off his thoughts. With his weakened state and the sigils Lucifer had etched in the brace, the collar, and the cuff and chains attached to one of Gabriel’s wrists, Lucifer could actually read Gabriel’s mind. Or more like he could get an impression of Gabriel’s thoughts. 

He really did try to make his mind go blank, but it apparently wasn’t good enough. Lucifer fingers dug into one of Gabriel’s wounds. Gabriel hissed. He was bruised and bloodied all over. Some of his ribs were broken. His skull was cracked. With the pressure Lucifer was applying to his left calf that would soon be broken as well. 

“Now now,” Lucifer teased, biting Gabriel’s ear as mockery. “You don’t want me pulling out all your pretty feathers, do you?” 

Gabriel’s good wing tightened to his side, brushing up against Lucifer more. Gabriel didn’t think that Lucifer would pull out his other wing, but then Gabriel was bad at guessing anything. He shifted into Lucifer’s hold. It was the only thing he could do. 

“What should I do with you?” Lucifer asked. 

“Whatever you’ve been doing is good,” Gabriel said. He winced when Lucifer dug his fingers deeper into his wound. 

“You’re mouthy today,” Lucifer said. 

“Not much more than normal,” Gabriel said. 

“Only because you’re silent at all other times with me. All I get is sass from you.” 

“Sam gets plenty of sass. I sass him all the time.” Gabriel just sounded tired. He felt tired too, really damn tired.

“Hmm, true,” Lucifer admitted. He kissed the top of Gabriel’s said. “You always were a little shit, when I think about it.” 

“You’ve been listening to Sam more,” Gabriel said softly. 

“You want Sam, don’t you?” Lucifer asked. Gabriel snuggled back into Lucifer more. There was no other way to reassure Lucifer. He wanted Lucifer too, but mostly he wanted the old Lucifer, the one who didn’t hurt him. 

“I’m so sorry.” It was Lucifer’s voice, but not Lucifer. Gabriel smiled tiredly. When had he started thinking about Sam’s body not as Sam’s but as Lucifer’s? 

“It’s okay,” Gabriel said, tilting his head up. He closed his eyes. For his troubles he was rewarded with a kiss on the nose. “Tell Lucifer to do that next time. It’s nice.” 

“He hardly listens to me,” Sam said. There was so much guilt in his voice. He tightened his old on Gabriel. It hurt, it made all his soreness ache more. But honestly Sam holding him made Gabriel feel better than even the times Lucifer completely healed him. 

“Hardly is so much better than not at all,” Gabriel pointed out. 

“Okay,” Sam said. He rested his chin on Gabriel’s forehead. Gabriel knew that Sam didn’t love him, that all of his affection was just out of guilt and a desperate need to have some even semi-human contact. Gabriel was no less a vessel for Sam’s usage than he was Lucifer’s. It was just easier to ignore. 

“Sam doesn’t treat you right, but you want him,” Lucifer asked. 

“Can’t help who you want,” Gabriel said. He felt like he could barely talk at all. “Please, just let me sleep, even five minutes.” 

“You’re pathetic, Gabriel,” Lucifer said coldly. He just tightened his hold. 

“So pathetic,” Gabriel agreed, too tired to argue or even agree better. He just needed sleep. He needed it so much. He was too human and Lucifer had kept him up too long with the pain and the questions and the dangling time with Sam in front of Gabriel’s eyes. Gabriel couldn’t hold out now even if Sam had been the one holding him. Honestly, though it could have been either one. Gabriel was starting not to care.


End file.
